Psalms 38:9, “ Lord, all my desire [is] before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee.”

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What is the language of a groan?  Has sorrow ever come so deep that you cannot express it in words?  It can be expressed only in utterance.  With words we speak our minds but with groans we speak our heart. In the movie It’s A Wonderful Life, there is a scene where Uncle Billy, a good hearted, kind man, but one has a very simply and childlike mind has lost the money that was to keep the Bailey’s Saving and Loan afloat. After being scolded by George Bailey, realizing he has brought ruin on the family bank, he sits down alone at his desk and groans. A little squirrel comes and climbs upon Uncle Billy as if to comfort him.

Scientist tell us that animals respond to our emotions.  If you get angry over a matter around your pet dog, even if the matter you are angry about has nothing to do with your pet, that little dog will put his head down and look up at you with sorrowful eyes because he knows you are angry but cannot know  if that anger is directed toward him or not.  Animals in a sense read your heart, they know if you are sad, lonely, angry, happy or joyful. They know if you are afraid. They feel threatened if you are afraid for they know fear produces irrational behavior.

Sometimes our longings are so deep that we do not know how to express them in words, we can only groan. We can’t tell someone where it hurts because we cannot find words to express it. People want to be helpful but need information, for some reason we need to know where and how it hurts if we are to attend to that need.  That little squirrel in It’s  A Wonderful Life only knew that Uncle Billy was hurting, he did not ask questions or where or why he was hurting he only reached out in comfort.

Here is the essence of Psalms 38:9, David has a longing or desires that is so deep that no human being can address and he can find no words to express it. The word desires in Hebrew is ta’avati which comes from the Semitic root word ‘avah. It comes from an Arabic word meaning to bend or afflict.  This is not just any desire, it is a desire for relief, to be released from something.  It is something so deep in your heart, it is creating such pressure in your heart that you have to cry out  to release that pressure least your heart will burst open like a boiler.  The groan is the release value releasing that pressure. In fact another use of the word ‘avah is to howl or wail as an expression of grief. I have a friend who once described it as a silent scream. On the outside you appear ok, normal, but on the inside you are avah, you are filled with such pressure in your heart that you are screaming, but no one hears that scream except God and His creation.

The word for groaning in Hebrew is ‘anechati from the root word ‘anach which is a sigh, a sigh of mourning.  It is also a word used for a happening, something that just happens. You do not even realize it but it is all of a sudden there. It is the result of that pressure valve in your heart that opens when the pressure is about to explode your heart into a million pieces and out comes this silent scream. To everyone around you it is just a sigh, a sound of mourning.

The whole point of this Psalm is that David’s heart is about to  explode with pain so deep but no and yet no one knows about it, it is something so deep that he cannot put words to it and thus he is suffering in silence.  As a king he really could not tell anyone his pain for it would be interpreted as a sign of weakness and a king must not show weakness.  So he suffers in silence, no one understands, but yet he says that even this silent, unspoken pain in his heart  which is not expressed in words that one can understand, it is yet before God.  That is an interesting word that is rendered as before.  The usual word would be pani but the word used here is negedeka from the root word negad which means to shout, declare, announce, make something known. That longing that deep hidden pain that comes out only as a weak sigh to others is screaming before the throne of God it is echoing through the  chambers of heaven.  What is a silent scream to the world is scream of pain before God.

That deep pain in your heart, that pain that cannot be put to words, that no one can understand, not even yourself, is heard and fully understood before the courts of  heaven. It is not and cannot be hid from God.  The word hid in Hebrew is satar which means to put out of plain sight.  In other words when you silent scream comes before God He is not going to hid it, mask it over, cover it up, He is going to listen to it , experience it and feel it. He is going to become a part of  your silent scream. He will not run away from it, turn the volume down, but He will allow it to enter the courts of heaven for all to hear and for His world of creation to hear.

The people in this world may not know the pain in your heart, but heaven does, heaven hears your scream, so does all of God’s creation and if you pay attention,  maybe a little squirrel, a bird, a dog, or even a flower, anything of God’s creation which also hears that silent scream will come up to you or make itself known to you to offer you some comfort.  Learn to accept the ministry of God’s creation, allow God’s creation to minister to you.