I Kings 19:9-10: “The Word of the Lord (came) to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?”  And he said,  I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown thine altars, and slain they prophets with the sword; and I , even I  only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”

So I am reflecting on my period of self pity last week and when I think about I tend to feel a little foolish. But then I go to a passage like I Kings 19:9-10 and here you have none other than Elijah who is also feeling sorry for himself.

This first thing off God asks Elijah a question, “What are you doing here?”  Note that the Bible uses the word ‘amar which means said not sha’al which means ask.  God was not asking Elijah a question. As a question it would seem like God is asking Elijah, “What are you doing here, why are you not where you are suppose to be?’  Elijah does not directly answer that question, he just jumps into a complaint.  I mean if God asked a direct question I would sure enough answer it.  But then maybe I am more easily intimidated than Elijah.  Another possibility is that maybe that was not really the question God was asking.

I am a little bothered by the fact that the text uses the word ‘amar (said) rather than sha’al (ask).  God was not asking Elijah a question at all, He was making a statement. Our Christian commentators render the word ma’ as what in what are you doing here.  I was reading in Jewish literature where the rabbis rendered the word ma’ as who. “Who do you think you are?”  The word ma’ is a general interrogative and can be rendered as who, what, where, when or how. Christian tradition seems to dictate that we render it as what. The argument being that this fits the context best. Frankly, I think the rabbis have a better argument as “Who do you think you are” also fits the context very well.

This passage starts off with “And the word of the Lord came to Him.”  The word came is not found in the Hebrew, it is simply: the word of the lord unto Him. Obviously it came so we still that verb in there.  Hebrew can have a sentence without a verb but English cannot so the translators stick the  most obvious verb in the sentence.  The rabbis I read had a different take on what verb to use.  They rendered this as “And the Word of the Lord was made a part of Him and said: Who do you think you are, Elijah?”   You see this was a a rhetorical question which is a question where the answer is so obvious, no answer is needed so it becomes a statement.  God was not looking for an answer, he was expressing His dismay as we would when someone makes a arrogant statement.   Looking at that word ’amar more closely I find it to be in a participial form. Elijah was sitting there like I did last week and I think we all have done at some time in our lives, feeling sorry for ourselves. My study partner told me today of a woman she was talking with who has such a sweet heart for God, loves God with all her heart and only wants to serve Him. She was given a small task to perform in her church and she considered it such an honor to serve God in that small way.  She prayed over it, fasted for it wanting to bring praise and honor to God as she performed this simply task.  Then someone of some authority in the church came to her and told her she was no longer needed for that task, it would be given to someone else.  No reason was given.  She was just heartlessly told she could not perform this task again.  I don’t know what she really felt but I am sure she was heart broken and shattered.  I would be surprised if she did not have one of those Elijah moments. “I have been very jealous for you Lord and then they take it away from me.” That word jealous in Hebrew here is qana.  Many translations render this as being zealous for God.  The word means that as well as jealous.  The word comes from a Semitic root for the color of the skin when it is flushed by deep emotion. When a person is overcome by jealousy or zealousness for a cause their skin color reddens and even turns bluish.  Elijah is saying that he has given his all, every part of his being to the cause of Jehovah such that he is flushed with emotion.  A preacher’s face turns red when he really gets zealous for his message that we say he is really on fire for God.  This young woman was just on fire for God and what happened, someone with a little authority just coldly takes it away from her.

We’ve been there, we grumble to God like Elijah, “Fine thing, here I am serving God, sacrificing daily for him, paying my tithe, going to church on Sunday and enduring an hour long service, and what do I get?  I get heartache, trouble, misery.  I look around at others with far less dedication than me and they have it made, so where is my reward?”

Note how Elijah’s complaint is worded:  “I have been jealous for the Lord God…” He should have used a pronoun here:  “I have been jealous for you.”   Being in a participial form indicates that this is what  Elijah was thinking when the Word of the Lord fell upon him.  He was sitting there brooding like I do so often and have recently done when all of a sudden the power and presence of God falls upon you.

Suddenly Elijah is overwhelmed with the presence of God and he knows what God is telling him: “Just who do you think you are?  Think you are Moses sitting here on the same mountain he sat on when I passed by him?  Ok, get your rear end out of this cave and I will pass by you like I did for Moses.”  Now remember God appeared to Moses in a burning bush or fire, in an earthquake with Dothan, in a windstorm  on the Mt. Sinai and indeed Elijah experienced a fire, earthquake and windstorm, but God wasn’t there for him.  Suddenly God appeared in a still small voice and that is when Elijah covered his face with his mantle and turned away from looking at God. He went back to his cave and there was that voice again.

God was saying to Elijah: “No you are not Moses, you are not Abraham, you are Elijah and I will speak to you in an Elijah way, I will use you for the Elijah job, not the Moses or Abraham job.”    God told Elijah, “You are not alone, there are 5,000 others who have not bowed to Baal and they also face persecution and even death.”  As I sat feeling sorry for myself I heard of the heart break of this dear saint who had her little service to God taken away and I heard God say to me: “You are not alone, they are many many others who have not bowed to the god of  self glorification, self praise and honor.  There are many others who have faithfully tried to serve me and had their heart broken. You are not alone.

Look over your life again – you tried for fire, I wasn’t in it. You tried a windstorm – I wasn’t in that.  How about that time you tried for an earthquake, that really really blew up in your face, didn’t it.  I wasn’t in that either.  But as you study My Word what do you get – a still small voice.   Isn’t that enough?”

Let it be my epitaph and that of the dear saintly lady who had her little ministry snatched away from her, that ours is not fire, wind or earthquake but a still small voice and yes, it is enough.