John 21:6: “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some. When they did they were unable to haul in the net in because of the large number of fish.”
It seems my legs are back normal today. The rain has ended, the chill has left the air and the sun is out and I could sense God saying: “Let’s go for a walk.” There is a trail that leads to a couple statutes that I walked last time I was at the Abbey so I decided to follow this trail again. I was not in the greatest health last time I walk the trail and the fact that now three years later I am able to walk the path without having to stop and take a breath is a testimony to God’s blessing on my life these past three years.
After experiencing the love of God and the glory of God in such a way yesterday that I could barely walk I figured the ultimate in the joy of the Lord has now passed. But I found that was not the case. As I entered the woods a cloud of love encompassed and I felt the Lord saying: “You can praise me now if you like.” I was released to express that love and praise for God. I could not think of anything I would like to do better at that moment but to praise and worship Him which I did and it just flowed in a way that I wished it would it never end. I heard the Lord whisper, “One day it shall never end.”
Along the trail which was surrounded by dense woods I saw a beam of light pass through the trees and focus on a tall white tree. Another white tree and it was as if God was shining a spotlight on it for me. Of course it just a happened to be that time of day that the sun was in the right position to shine through a grove of trees which had a space between them creating almost a hole for the sun to shine through. Coincidence, after all there are many areas where the sun shines through it is just a coincidence that I happened to be right there at the right time in the right spot to see the sun act like spotlight on the only white tree I found on this hike, a white tree that has become the focus of my attention during my time of silence. A coincidence, right? I have learned that when I go into silence there are no coincidences, that my spirit is quickened and I know God is speaking to me. There is a bright red cardinal staring at me. “Am I crazy?” I ask. He just flies away to a branch that is in the shape of a heart if you look at it from a certain angle that I happen to be looking at it. No, I told God I was going to be a little child this week and therefore it is not a coincidence, God is speaking to me.
I am glad my red little friend pointed out the valentine heart for the message of the white tree was chilling. I saw that the tree was covered with bark, albeit white bark, but the protective covering was there. A red cardinal landed on the tree and began squawking away. I realized red as a sign of warning. What was the warning of this white tree with a spotlight on it and a red cardinal chirping away and that is when it hit me. I have spoken a long time about livinthi ravishing God’s heart or God tearing the bark off his heart to expose it and make Himself vulnerable to us. But I never thought that he would close his heart up again. Just as a woman would seal her heart up from her husband if she ever found him seeking the attention of another woman, God will seal his heart up if he ever finds me seeking another god. For long time I was terrified. I wept out of fear that God would seal his heart up to me. I could not bear the thought that he would seal His heart up after he has allowed me to enter His heart.
“Oh, God I cried, “What must I do so as not to wound your heart that would cause you to seal it up?” I came to a clearing where there was a little lake. About three people who were obviously locals and not part of the Abbey were fishing. I looked over the lake and thought: “There are no fish in this lake.” Just as I thought this, by some strange coincidence, or divine incident one of the fishermen pulled in a beautiful regular size fish, I believe a trout. I thought of the fact that there are two words in the Hebrew for fish. One is dag and the other is Nun like in the Hebrew letter Nun. The letter Nun represents productivity, it also represents just going with the flow as a fish just effortlessly rides the currents. Finally the Nun represents faith. I had no faith that those fishermen would catch fish, but they did, they believed there would be fish in that lake and indeed there were. Faith is just going with the flow of God trusting He will lead you in productivity. If I just flow with Jesus, I never have to worry whether or not I am producing enough for Him he will take care of that. I asked the Lord: “Is that all I have to do to keep you from sealing up your heart?” Instantly I thought of that verse “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” I can please God by simply having faith and trusting Him. All I have to do is just please Him and He is the easiest person to please. If I do He will never seal His heart up to me.
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