Deuteronomy 3:24:  “O Lord GOD, thou hast begun to shew thy servant thy greatness, and thy mighty hand: for what God [is there] in heaven or in earth, that can do according to thy works, and according to thy might?”

 

Moses wrote these words as his life was about to end.   Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov said about this verse:  “Moses was G‑d’s faithful servant, the greatest of the prophets, the recipient of the Torah from G‑d. Yet after 120 years of the most G‑dly life ever lived, he sees himself as only having begun in his relationship with G‑d!”

 

As I come to the closing day of my time in silence I find myself repeating the words of Moses: “O Lord God you have only begun to show thy servant thy greatness.”  Think about it, who had witnessed the power of God more than Moses?  He watched God save a nation, humble a pharaoh, feed millions of people daily, give them water from a rock, allow them to cross a sea by parting the waters and much much more.  I daresay no one, yes, no one in human history had witnessed the power of God like Moses and after 120 years he is declaring that he has only begun to see the greatness of God.

 

You know there are times you need to sit back in your chair or bench as I am doing now and just look at a tree, my great white tree her at the Abbey, my trysting place with God.  I mean look at that tree, look at each branch, each leaf and allow yourself to reflect what a great work it is.  Yet there are millions upon millions of such trees on this planet created by the God who loves you personally.  Still, that doesn’t even begin to declare a minute part of the greatness of this God that loves you personally, speaks to you personally as he has done to me here at the Abbey this past week.

 

I could not help but think of that old song that I sang as a child in church: “What have I to dread, what have I to fear, leaning on the everlasting arms. I have blessed peace, with my Lord so near, leaning on the everlasting arms.”   As I sit back on my bench here in the Abbey courtyard I reflect over the past many years and I realize I have not received many hugs in the past years.  I begin to pray: “Lord, I don’t want to lean on your everlasting arms, I want you to hug me with those everlasting arms.  Oh, my Lord I really need a hug right now.”  Instantly I feel a warmth envelop me, a peace, and a hug. I hear Him say: “It’s ok.”   You know, everything is really ok.  It is all ok when you are resting in that hug, in those everlasting arms. Such peace, oh such peace, such joy, such rest.  If only this hug would never end and then He whispers to me: “One day it shall never end.”

 

The great impressionist paint Renoir on the day that he died was overheard by his housekeeper as she brought him his lunch while he sat painting his favorite flower and as he intensely reflected on that flower she heard him whisper: “I think I am beginning to understand it.”  Most art historians believe he was referring to painting, but one art history reflected to me that this was the day he died and perhaps his mind was on eternal things and he realized it was God that gave this flower its beauty.   Like Moses old Renoir was just beginning to understand the greatness of the God that we would soon stand before.

 

Those words thou hast begun, is not what I expect which would have been the word berith which means beginning.  This word in Hebrew, it is the word hachiloth which comes from the root word chalal.  It comes from the idea of wounding, piercing and weakening. It means to be hollowed out to form a pipe to make a flute in which you blow air through to make a musical sound.  This idea of beginning is a beginning that comes from being broken down, hollowed out so that something beautiful as music can flow.  Renoir at the end of his life realized that to create great beauty he needed God.  Moses realized at the end of his life that to really accomplish great things for God he needed to be hollowed out so that the breath of God could flow through him to accomplish great things.  Chaim Bentorah as he sits under this great white tree suddenly realizes that God has not even begun to hollow him out so that His breath could flow to create His beautiful music.  Why oh why does it take a life time to be hollowed out?  How do you get yourself hollowed out, is it the wounding the piecing of your experience in life?  The word itself has a built in commentary.  It is spelled Cheth,  Lamed, Lamed.  The Cheth shows a binding with God the Lamed is a picture of reaching up to heaven to give your heart to God and receive His heart in return.  But say, there are two Lameds.  As the ancient rabbis would say the two Lameds represent two uplifted hands in worship, praise and one other thing.  When you surrender what do you do? You lift your hands to show you have nothing, no weapon in your hands. In your arms and hands lies your power to accomplish things, by lifting your arms and hands in the air you are making yourself completely defenseless.  You are placing yourself at the mercy of your captor or in the case of God you are putting yourself totally at His mercy. It is only then that He can begin to do great things through you.

 

After three score and five years of walking this planet, I am only beginning to understand the greatness of God.

 

 

 

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