My third journey into silence ends.  I am enjoying my last meal here at the Abbey.  I look around and there are not as many of us here as there was at the start of this retreat. Perhaps they never intended to stay more than a day or two. Perhaps they just could not adjust to the silence or they just could not get into this life style.  There is a special dining room they opened up for those who wish to speak with other retreatants during a meal. You are allowed in the room for one meal only.  I am pretty much a hermit so I never desired to speak with the other retreatants.  Their reason for being here is their own personal reason and none of my business. I found that dining room however gathered more and more diners as the week progressed.

On my hike to the statutes I did stop back in the little Rosary House I visited on my first experience at the Abbey. In this Rosary House, like I discovered in my last visit, were posted over the walls little notes and prayers. Some were folded and tucked into a crack for only God to read.  Some were open for everyone to read.  In these I learned the reasons why people visit the Abbey to spend time in silence.  Some are like me they just to draw closer to God.  Some are there to hear God’s voice and receive direction in their lives, while others are trying to work through the grief of a lost loved one and some come just to find rest and peace for their souls in the presence of God, but all come to experience God.  As I read the many petitions that were posted I could not help be wonder at the vast number of people who were like me, just hungry for God and more of Him.

Most of the retreatants appeared to be clergy, nuns and priest. You could tell who they were pretty easily just by their bearing and how they handled themselves. But there were others who were obviously not clergy. One is a guy that I first thought was a professional football player. He stood about 6’2” muscular, in excellent condition. I mean a Dwayne Johnson look alike. But his bearing was not that of a reckless, arrogant football star. He appeared to be very disciplined. He had close cropped hair, the steel gaze of one who has seen aspects of life that we would never see. The Semper Fi tattoo on his forearm was a dead giveaway. He was obviously a military man. He literally stood at attention when a monk passed by and I swear he wanted to salute him. He stood as the poster child of an Officer and Gentleman. When one of the retreatants dropped a glass that broke with a crash this tall, disciplined, muscular man almost dived under the table. I figured he was not only a military man but one who had seen action. I would often see him just sitting outside gazing off at the clouds. Was he praying? Was he reflecting? Why was he here? I saw him one afternoon reading a book that had Thomas Aquinas on the cover. This lead me to believe he was also an educated man and most likely an officer in the Marines. His steel hard body, reflexes, focus, concentration and intelligence made me think he was special forces, perhaps Recon or even a Navy Seal.
When I took my walk to the statutes I stopped in the little Rosary shack, a one room shack with a bench and the walls covered with little notes filled with prayers, praise to God, petitions and other messages from the heart of retreatants. I snapped a picture of the walls with my cell phone as a remembrance of the heart of the people like me who came to this Abbey with a heart filled with faith in God and God’s ability to answer prayer and forgive sins. I saw these notes were  from people of various backgrounds. When I stepped out of the shack I saw the Captain (as I privately started to call him now as I was sure he held high rank) who was patiently waiting for me to leave. He had his head bowed in prayer. I walked on to the statutes and when I returned I passed by the shack and there I saw the captain still in the shack on his knees sobbing like a little lost child. This big, powerful, gifted young man, handsome young man was weeping his heart out to God. I walked back to the statutes and waited about ten minutes until he left the shack. Although none of my business I just had to know what was going on.  I entered the shack and there I saw it, a piece of paper tacked to the wall that was not there ten minutes earlier. I looked at the photo on my IPhone to confirm that it was not there ten minutes ago. The piece of paper simply said: “Father forgive us.” Below that were the names of three men. I felt ashamed, it was none of my business. It could be a story with any number of scenarios but it was his personal story and he was here in silence seeking God to sooth his troubled soul. I just thank God that this brave young veteran chose to come to the Abbey and live in silence to deal with his trouble mind and not seek comfort in drugs or alcohol but in the only way one could find peace, not a peace that the world gives but a peace that the world cannot understand.

 

 

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