Image result for i found him whom my soul loves

 

Song of Solomon 3:4: “Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her who conceived me.”

 

“Love is begun by time, And time qualifies the spark and fire of it.”  Hamlet, Act IV Scene 7 Shakespeare

 

In this the second day of my journey down this dark path of feeling a separation from the one whom my soul loveth.  I find what I miss most is that loving embrace.  It took many years as a Christian before I began to feel His embrace.  At first I used to sing the song He Touched Me.  As the Gaithers wrote

 

He touch me, Oh He touched me,

And oh the joy that floods my soul

Something happened and not I know

He touched me and made me whole.

 

The joy of that initial touch from God brought floods of joy to my soul. But as the years went by I discovered something even deeper than a touch, I began to feel His hug.  Seven times the Bible talks about clinging to the Lord.  One such passage is Deuteronomy 10:20: “Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name.” Here it is interesting to note that we are commanded to fear the Lord, that is to put Him first in everything we do, then we are to serve the Lord and then cleave to Him.  The word cleave or cling is devekut.  I have spoken of this word many times.  It is not a clinging like a parasite but clinging in love and affection. It is a hug. But when you look at this word devekut in the Hebrew Bible in this passage you find it has a Taw prefix.  This indicates a future tense something that will happen.  I believe the proper syntax would be: “Thou shalt fear the Lord they God, serve Him and then you will hug Him.  Hugs come only after learning to fear the Lord and serving Him, they are not the immediate thing. The immediate thing is a touch.

 

Hugs are very common in Christian circles.  Everyone wants to hug you to show they are loving Christians.  Unfortunately I have this hernia which makes a hug a rather painful experience if I am not prepared properly for it.  Generally these hugs come out of nowhere and I yelp which sort of startles the brother or sister who sort of backs away wondering if they just hugged a squeaky Teddy Bear.   Some say I don’t like to hug.  But I mean who doesn’t like a hug? Even if it is painful.  It has been proven that you can take care of all a baby needs, feed it, change its diapers etc but if that baby is not hugged or shown affection it will die.  In fact studies are being done to determine that  the elderly in nursing homes who receive hugs live longer than those who don’t.  I believe it is the same in the spiritual world, that if we do not receive hugs from God and He does not hug us in return, we will die spiritually.  Indeed I feel myself spiritually dying each day that goes by that I don’t feel that hug from God.  I really believe Christians crave for God’s hug but they don’t realize it. Instead they compensate by attending rah rah Christian meetings shouting Yippee and all that.  You know getting that general feeling you get at an athletic event when you team is on the verge of winning. Those are not hugs from God, that is not devekut. Devekut is entering into a deep intimacy with God.  Jesus said: Matthew 6:6: “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”  In the Aramaic that word for closet is tawuna.  It is equivalent to the Hebrew word tavah which means to set boundaries, to cover.  I believe this closet is really referring to a talit, or a prayer shawl.  The talit is worn by a Jew when they pray so as to signal to everyone around them that they are praying and they must be left allow.  They are seeking a hug from God so don’t you interfere. Hugs from God comes when you are one with Him. Perhaps it is best that I am huggy challenged, because I must choose my hugs carefully they continue to have meaning.

 

You know a husband and wife or even a friend when separated for a period of time and then meet the first instinct they have when meeting is to hug them.  Somehow in that hug nothing is said, but so much is being communicated.  God and I are talking all the time but I have not yet reached that point of receiving a hug from Him or being able to give Him a hug or devekut.  Thus, I continue my journey in this dark night of my soul as I search for the one my soul loves.  Actually in the Hebrew that word love ahav is prefixed with a Shin. The Shin when used as a prefix indicates the word who or whom.  Thus it should be rendered the one whom my soul loves. That means my soul loves a person not a thing.

 

I know deep in my heart that when I am again joined with the one whom my soul loves I shall appreciate His love in a way I have never appreciated it before for I will know and understand how deeply I do love Him. I don’t know about you but I tend to take my love for Him for granted, like an old married couple who get comfortable in their love until they face a separation and then they begin to really understand how much they loved each other and long for each other.  I want this Dark Night of my Soul to continue, I want to feel every pang of loneliness, desolation and longing, I want it etched into my soul so when I am joined again with the one whom my soul loves I shall know a joy in His love like I have never known before.  The enemy wants to use this time to discourage me, to bring me to pit of despair, to maybe even give up.  But what he has meant for evil I know God will use for good or to bring me into harmony with Him.  Whatever sin it was that the enemy used to separate me from the one whom my soul loves will be found and forgiven and I know I shall find my arms around the one I long to hold and have to hold me to give me a hug.  I am looking forward to that hug.

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