Perhaps you are going through a period when you did not feel the presence of God in your life. Maybe you feel like God has abandoned you. You desperately seek His presence, pray for it and cry out like David, “How long O Lord will you keep your presence from me?” Yet, He still seems distant. Like Job you cling to your faith. You know God promised to never leave you nor forsake you, so you, like many others, quietly keep these doubts, fears, and questions to yourself. You fear Christians will question your faith, wonder what sin you committed and offer advice on par with Job’s friends. You wonder if you are the only one going through such an experience.
Even though I have written many books on God’s love and spent a minimum of three to four hours a day studying the Word of God in Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic for over forty years, I went through such a dark period. I faced the questions of His existence and His love. I wondered if I were just playing some sick game with myself pretending to believe in a God of love. I started to keep a journal of my struggle. Based on the belief that I was not the only believer going through such a dark night, I willingly share with you my journey. It is very personal and covers only the twelve most significant days. They are the twelve days when I climbed out of my darkness into the light of God.