HEBREW WORD STUDY – SHOCKED AND TERRIFIED – BAHAL בהל Beth Hei Lamed
Psalms 30: 7-8: “And in my prosperity, I said I shall never be moved. Lord by thy favor thou has made my mountain to stand strong; thou did hide thy face and I was troubled.”
Today I discovered I had the whole day to do nothing but study the Word of God. I was excited about this thought. Boy, I was going to really do an in-depth study that I would post on my blog and really excite the brethren who read it.
The first thing I did when I woke up was to begin looking for a verse or passage of Scripture to study. By 3:00 in the afternoon I was exhausted, not from study but from trying to find a passage of Scripture to study. Nothing spoke to me. I could not feel God’s presence or pleasure in any verse I attempted to study. I finally ran across this verse in Psalms where David is saying: “Thou did hide they face and I was troubled.” I understood exactly what David meant. It was as if God was hiding His presence from me and I was really troubled.
The word troubled is bahal which means to be bewildered, shocked. David was shocked that he could not feel the presence of God. It also has the idea of being terrified. When God hid his face from him he was terrified. This word is in a Niphal participle form. When God hides his face or His presence David works himself up into a terrifying state. This is exactly what happened to me today. As the hours passed and I was getting nowhere in using this time to search out the Scriptures I was working myself up into a state of terror. I began to feel like a little lost lamb who could not find its way back to the flock. All it can do is stand alone and cry.
David speaks of his prosperity. The word prosperity in the Hebrew is shalu which means security. In his security with God David was at ease, feeling so secure that he would never be moved. The word in the Hebrew for moved is a very curious word to use here. I believe it is a play on words. It is the word mot. He shall not mot or be moved, shaken, slip, or fall. But it is pronounced the same as another word mot only it is spelled with a taw rather than a Teth. It is the word for death. It is almost as if David said that in the midst of his security he did not even think he would one day die, he did not even give death a thought. Now without feeling God’s presence or pleasure he felt he would die.
Would you like Chaim Bentorah as your personal Hebrew teacher?
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“By thy favor, thou has made my mountain to stand strong.” I agree with most commentators that this mountain refers to all David’s securities. All those things in this world that made him feel secure. He recognizes that it was God’s favor that gave him these securities. He clearly recognizes now that whatever security he had it was only by God’s favor. The word favor in Hebrew is rason which has the idea of pleasure. It was only because God found pleasure in giving David all these securities that he had them in the first place. Yet, even with all this security, without the presence of God, he finds that he is terrified. For only in the presence of God does he feels God’s favor, God’s pleasure.
Here I wasted over ten hours trying to find some Scripture passage to study so I could feel God’s pleasure, thinking that He would find great pleasure in my devotion to studying His Word. I cried out to God, “Why do I not feel your pleasure and your presence here?” I began to panic because if I could not feel His pleasure in the one thing that always brings his pleasure, the study of His Word, what have I got. I was terrified that I had nothing to give to God to receive His pleasure. I felt like I was dying.
Then for some unexplained reason, I again began to feel that calming peace of God come over me. I was drawn to Isaiah 26:3: “You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mindis stayed on You Because he trusts in You.”
I read an old rabbinical story about a rabbi who felt God telling him that there was a shepherd who was a great servant of His. This rabbi was anxious to meet this great servant of God and learn what type of service He gave to God that made him such a great servant. So he searched for this shepherd and found him off in a distance. The rabbi stood off afar and just watched him wondering what he was doing that made him such a great servant. After the shepherd properly attended to his sheep he looked up to heaven and said: “God you are so wonderful, so mighty, I just don’t know what I can do that would serve you. I know I will just shout to the top of my lungs in praise.” He did so. In fact, he did it with such great effort he soon fell to the ground in exhaustion. When he regathered his strength he looked up to heaven again and said: “God, I just am not satisfied, what more can I do to serve you? I know one thing I can do, I can stand on my head and wave my feet.” This he did until he collapsed in exhaustion again.
The rabbi immediately thought of the Shema, which he recited every day; “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all they heart, soul and might.” He thought, this shepherd truly loved God with all his soul, heart, and might and expressed it to God in the only way he knew and could. In expressing his love to God he was doing the greatest service one could for God.
I felt God’s peace and presence because I kept my mind stayed on Him. It is not because I spend hours every day praying and studying His Word. It is not because I try to share God’s message to those who ride my disability bus. That would accomplish no more to bringing the presence of God than standing on my head. It is keeping my mind on Him and whatever I do I do as unto Him which brings His pleasure. The only reason I feel God’s pleasure in studying His Word was that it kept my mind on Him. Only today I planned to study God’s Word to write up a nice, pretty devotional to put up on my blog. I was not doing it unto Him I was doing it to get attention to myself. That is why I was not feeling God’s presence, He was not invited to my little study party.
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Thanks & Blessings, it means a lot to me!
Thank you for this testimony. It is inspiring to learn hoe God will interact with others, especially when it seems to match how He interacts with me. I can completely relate to that verse. Just recently, I had the opportunity to experience the feeling of being separated from God’s presence. This will happen every so often, where I will suddenly feel very disturbed and heavy-hearted, as if I am hurting for someone, which leads me to pray for them. I have no idea who the person is, or what the issue is, while I am praying, but once in a while, I will find out afterwards who the person and issue were. Well, this distressing feeling was one of those occurrences. It was the worst feeling I ever experienced in my life. Have you ever felt lonely, like the loneliness that comes from being abandoned by someone you love? Have you ever felt the fear, like walking in a dark alleyway, and feeling a sense of paranoia, never knowing if some big person will suddenly appear and attack you, the fear you have of your worst phobia, or the fear you get when being completely vulnerable and unprotected? Have you ever experienced a traumatic event, where time seemed to stand still, and you feel emotionally and mentally paralyzed? Multiply all those feelings by 100, and imagine having them all simultaneously, and that’s the feeling I experienced. I have to describe it as a very dark feeling, more horrific than a horror movie. I felt so completely alone, so forlorn, as if I was the only person alive on this earth. It was frightening and caused a fear much worse than any fear I have felt before. The loneliness and heaviness was so overwhelming that I wasn’t sure if I could live through it. I felt a desperate aching longing for peace, which never really came. It was like the valley of the shadow of death, and it lasted for 3 days straight. I knew this was only a feeling God was giving me to inspire me to pray for the person, as He let me know clearly through other ways that He was still with me and holding me. But it still was intense and painful, and heartbreaking. God’s presence truly is what gives life its meaning. Without Him, life is not worth living. I had learned that before, felt it before, but this feeling confirmed it by leaps and bounds. I think about Scripture passages, like when God banished Cain from His presence, yet he was blessed with other pleasures, and I can’t imagine how any of those blessings could make up for the loss of God’s presence. I have felt (not to the extreme extent as with this most recent feeling) like God left me before, and even when I saw God blessing me, if I felt like I lost Him, the other blessings made no difference in the depression and despair I felt.
I love this SO MUCH!!!!!
Thank you!