HEBREW WORD STUDY – PRAYER SUPPORT – GA’AH  hag   Gimmel, Aleph, Hei

Proverbs 21:9: “[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a contentious woman in a wide house.”

I have always been bothered by this verse, well not so much the verse but the preachers and teachers who mention this verse. Generally, these preachers and teachers are male and bring it up to elicit a laugh which usually comes from the men and a few good natured women. 

Whenever I heard this verse, even as a child, I could not help but wonder why it was the women who got the bum rap. All the women in my life as a child, mother, grandmothers, aunts and cousins were never brawling or contentious to my observation.  Besides after walking this earth now for 68 years, I’ve met plenty of men who could be just as brawling and contentious as any woman.  Having been a pastor and involved in some pastoral counseling I often found that if a woman was contentious it was usually the husband’s fault for neglecting her.  Many times I didn’t blame the woman for being contentious, she deserved better treatment and attention than she was getting. 

The other thing that bothers me about this verse is that the wisest man who ever lived advises a husband to cower in a corner when his wife goes on a rampage. That does not sound like very wise advice to me, nor something that the God I love would recommend. 

There are alternatives to translating this verse which fit more of God’s style.  Let me give you one that I like.  The verse started off with “It is better.”  The word here in Hebrew is tov which means good but also means to be in harmony.  It is more in harmony for a man to dwell in the corner of a housetop.  For one thing the preposition is not “in” but ‘al which means to be above, among or beside. The word corner is panah which in its Semitic root is a word used for a bulwark, tower,  battlement or support.  I like the word support.  It is more in harmony for a man support his wife in a battlement gag.  The word gag comes from the root word ga’al. Sure it means a roof or housetop which is supported by a panah.  There is, however, a double meaning here that the Hebrews would easily pick up that we in the 21^st Century would not. The Hebrews were more familiar with this word as being used in the tabernacle for the Altar of Incense. The Altar of Incense was where one would burn incense to pray intercessory prayers, that is to offer prayer support for another.  Perhaps there is the idea of seeking shelter but this is seeking the shelter of intercessory prayer to support one’s wife in prayer.  But this is also good advice for a woman whose husband gets argumentative or contentious. So why is the woman singled out?

The word contentious or brawling is miyadim which is also a word used for someone who is very competitive, he or she just cannot stand to lose in any encounter.  Here is why the woman is being singled out as a man is considered the leader of the household, although equal with his wife, you  still need someone who is in charge.  I believe this verse is saying that if the wife is in disagreement, it is better not to enter into an argument but for the husband to support his wife’s feelings and concerns and go into intercessory prayer over the situation.  He is to be the leader or example of prayer in the house.

There is one other thing that is very interesting. The text uses the word chavar.  Many translations say to associate, the above rendering is wide, some translations just ignore this word. But this word is just too juicy to ignore.  It is a word used in the Garden of Eden in reference to the serpent who was called the chavar or the enchanter. You know there are some men who just love their wives so much that they can’t say no to them. They will give them everything they want wanting to please them and the wife plays on this being that seductive little kitten, maybe giving a little pout, turning her head away and the old boy gives in against his better judgment.  She has him eating out of her hand, she has chavar or enchanted him. 

I believe this verse is pointing the finger at men just as much as women.  Both should be careful and both should seek the  gag, the Altar of Incense, intercessory prayer and it should be the man who leads the prayer, before entering into any fight or using powers of manipulation.